Tits: A Hands-Off Topic

Denied purple, as it were, since it is already taken by BDSM enthusiasts, I'm endorsing green and its family as the official color or breasts in erotica. Among homo sapiens, whether female or shemale, this color is not possible naturally, there being no genetic, ethnic, or racial basis for its occurrence in human flesh, breast or otherwise. Therefore, it is safe from charges of either racism, sexism, or both, and it still affords the writer of erotica a vast variety of terms by which to shade the colors of female and shemale characters' knockers: aqua, aquamarine, Army green, asparagus, blue-green (for mulattos?), bright green, bright turquoise, camouflage green (for shemales?), celadon, chartreuse, dark pastel green, dark spring green, dark turquoise, electric green, electric lime, emerald, fern green, forest green, green-yellow, harlequin, India green (for Indians?), Islamic green (for Arabs?), jade, jungle green (for the "sisters"?), Kelly green (for the Irish?), lawn green (for PETA protesters?), lime (for Limeys?), magic mint (for Wicca priestesses?), malachite, medium spring green, midnight green, mint green, moss green (for Kate?), office green (for a professional look?), olive (for Asian ladies and ladyboys?), olive drab, olivine, pastel green, pear, Persian green (for what's beneath the burqa?), pine green (for Caribou Barbie?), sea green, shamrock green, spring bud, spring green, tea green (for Brits?), teal, turquoise, viridian, Xanadu, yellow-green (for high yellows?), and, of course, just plain green (for plain girls and girly boys?).

Here's an example of how a description of green boobs might read, just to give you an example of how a description of green boobs might read: "Sam blinked, squinted, and stared again, obviously trying to sort out the conflicting images of Daphne's lovely face; full, high, round, tea green breasts, slender build, concave stomach, rounded hips, firm, globular ass, long, smooth legs--and cock and balls. After a moment, he grinned and began to applaud loudly, in obvious appreciation of Daphne's transsexual beauty (from my story, "The Dancing Diva," revised for effect).